By David Atteberry, TCC Public Safety Manager
February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, an opportunity for families, schools, Tribal leadership, and public safety partners to strengthen efforts to protect our youth. Teen dating violence affects young people in every region of the country, but Alaska Native youth face some of the highest rates of interpersonal violence. By recognizing the warning signs, supporting young people, and encouraging safe communication, our communities can play an important role in preventing harm before it escalates.
Warning Signs of Unhealthy or Abusive Relationships
Dating violence is not always physical. It can begin with subtle behaviors that slowly increase over time. Some of the most common early warning signs include:
- Excessive checking in, texting constantly, or demanding to know where the other person is at all times
- Isolating a teen from friends, family, or cultural activities
- Jealousy presented as “love” or “protection”
- Pressuring someone to share passwords, unlock their phone, or reveal private messages
- Insulting, belittling, or humiliating the other person, either in private or in front of others
- Threatening to harm themselves, the other person, or property if the relationship ends
- Forcing or pressuring any sexual activity
- Stalking behaviors either in person or online
- These behaviors often escalate. The earlier they are recognized, the greater the chance of protecting the teen and offering meaningful support.
How Community Members Can Support Youth
Youth are more likely to reach out when they trust the adults around them. Community members can make a tremendous impact by being present, patient, and willing to listen. Helpful actions include:
- Showing youth that they have safe adults who believe them
- Talking openly about healthy relationships and boundaries
- Encouraging participation in sports, culture camps, and traditional activities that reinforce identity, confidence, and connection
- Helping teens recognize that controlling behavior is not love
- Being careful not to shame or blame the teen for the situation
- Connecting them with trained responders such as VPSOs, TPOs, behavioral health workers, and school staff
- Supporting families without judgment and reinforcing their cultural strengths
Small conversations can make a big difference. Many teens stay silent because they fear getting someone in trouble or being blamed. Compassion and understanding are often the first steps toward safety.
Encouraging Safe Communication and Reporting
In many of our villages there is no 911 system, so communication and reporting look different than in urban areas. Teens should know who they can call, where they can go, and which adults are trusted responders. VPSOs and TPOs are available to help youth and families understand their options and can assist with safety planning.
Encourage youth to tell someone they trust if they feel unsafe. Let them know that reporting is not about getting someone else in trouble but about protecting themselves and receiving support. In some situations, early reporting can prevent incidents from escalating into more serious harm.
Connection to Missing and Murdered Indigenous Persons (MMIP)
In some cases, dating violence and coercive relationships overlap with situations that increase the risk of a young person going missing. Isolation, control, and fear can create dangerous environments that place youth at higher risk. Strengthening prevention around teen dating violence is also part of strengthening MMIP prevention efforts across the Interior.
Working Together for Safer Communities
Protecting our youth is a shared responsibility. By learning the signs, listening without judgment, and fostering safe communication, we help build stronger, healthier, and more resilient communities. Teens deserve relationships that honor respect, kindness, and cultural strength. When we stand together, we give them the safety and support they need to thrive.